


Blame It On Your Heart

by immortalwolf



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-22 13:47:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2509973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalwolf/pseuds/immortalwolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles and Derek have been together for 3 years. It seems like they only argue and have sex. Sometimes even both at the same time. </p><p>One night Stiles goes out for a walk and ends up in front of Jackson's house. They share a beer and a surprising revelation. </p><p>Somehow Stiles finds himself cheating on the love of his life with the one person he thought hated him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You May Be Good Looking But You're Not a Piece of Art

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a prompt by my best friend (alphano) and it goes something like: Stiles knows Jackson is a jerk. But he jerks him off anyway. And it kind of took a weird turn from there when I started writing it. 
> 
> More characters will be introduced in the next chapters, and things might take a turn for the better or worse. Stiles' life kind of sucks, and sometimes he ends up liking it.

“Could you just shut up and get back to bed, Stiles?” They had been in an argument for the past few months, and it always ended up by Derek telling him to go back to bed. It was always like this, they bickered and it turned into a fight and then it turned into sex. 

Stiles was starting to think that the past few years have only been about sex. Perhaps their relationship, if he could call it that based purely on that. For fuck’s sake, he couldn’t even remember the last time they went out for a date, they just stayed at home most of the time. And he was just so sick of it, he was just sick of feeling like they never made any real progress, it was just him trying and Derek was just… Derek was just being Derek. Scott did always tell him that and he never really listened, because he always thought that perhaps under that dark, mysterious and broody man there was actually someone with a heart of gold. Or at least a heart. After 3 years he still didn’t even make a dent into the Hale armour and slowly he was beginning to give up. 

“I’m going out for a walk.” 

He expected Derek to plead him to stay, he expected him to ask him to come back to bed once more, and he would have said yes, like he always did at the end. But Derek didn’t say a thing, and just left him walk away. 

Stiles had absolutely no idea where he was going, he just walked and walked until he reached a familiar house. It wasn’t until he stopped to actually catch a breath that he realised where he was standing, and now he only had to understand why his stupid brain decided it was a good idea to bring him here. 

The lights in the house turned on, and he could see a man standing inside, looking through the window. Great, now he definitely saw him. How could he possibly explain why he was standing in front of his house in the middle of the night? He already knew that he was in a deep pond of trouble.

“Stiles what the fuck are you doing here?” He heard the man’s voice and when he looked up there he was, standing in front of his door in nothing but the most tight pair of sweatpants. And damn did he look good, definitely not as good as Derek did. But he tried to shut that thought down as soon as it popped up. 

“I — I was just taking a — um — walk?” No, definitely not very convincing, even though he did think it was true. 

“It’s 3 am, and it’s fucking freezing outside, you idiot, get inside at least!” 

Did… did Jackson just really ask him to come inside? They were never really friends, even though they did go to school together and even played lacrosse but Jackson was always the high and mighty one, when Stiles was… just Stiles. 

“I should — um — maybe just — um — go back home, I don’t want to disturb you, cause you know — um — you have better things to do than spend your night with — um — me.” 

Jackson just sighed and waved him to come inside already. And why was it that every single person in his life always had to sigh constantly? Couldn’t he just attract happy people into his life for once, because he thought that would be such a great change for once. 

“Um, okay.” 

He didn’t know what he could possibly do there. It’s not like he could somehow talk to Jackson about what he’s going through, he was certain that he simply wouldn’t give a shit that Stiles’ life is a complete mess and that he’s slowly falling apart. Jackson was too cool for that. 

“So, do you want a beer? You seem like you could use some beer right now,” Jackson asked with his eyebrow slightly raised, and for once Stiles couldn’t detect any hostility in his voice. Did that mean that Jackson was at least slightly nice? No, it couldn’t possibly, that would ruin just about the whole concept of his personality. 

“I probably shouldn’t, the last time I got drunk it didn’t really end well and… I’m — I mean — I don’t want to cause you any trouble, I should probably just leave.” 

“Stop being sorry for yourself, Stiles, just have a god damn beer and relax a bit.” 

It was weird seeing Jackson actually wanting him to stay. Did Jackson really just want him to stay? That somehow seemed impossible, and for a second Stiles thought that maybe he was just dreaming. But why on earth would he dream about Jackson out of all the people in the world? Sure, he had a slight crush on him once in the fifth grade, but he got over that pretty quickly when he realised just how much of a dick he actually was. 

And now he was left wondering if maybe Jackson wasn’t such a dick anymore. 

“Why are you being so — um — kinda nice to me right now?” Wow, did he just really ask him that when he was the one who showed up on his doorstep in the middle of the night? 

“Because you look like crap and like you need some beer right now.” With that Jackson returned from the kitchen with two bottles of beer and sat right next to Stiles on the couch. 

Stiles was now pretty sure he was dreaming, because they were so close that their legs almost touched, and Jackson was never nice to him, and dreaming was the only possible explanation. This just would never happen if he was actually awake. 

“I thought you always hated me, I mean, you acted like you wanted to kill me most of the time we were actually near each other, and now you’re being suddenly very nice to me. And I know I came to your house, but I don’t know why, I think I was probably just dream walking and I’m just sorry, okay.” 

“You were just annoying, and you talk too much, but I didn’t hate you.” 

“You didn’t? But then why did you always pick on me whenever you could? I — um — am I dreaming?” Great, now he just made everything a lot more awkward if this was actually not a dream. He hoped it was a dream, because a dream would make more sense. 

“Because — because I… forget it!” 

“Forget what? You know it’s not exactly nice to start something and not finish it, right? You don’t offer someone beer, sit really close next to him and then just say forget it! What is it?” 

“I liked you, Stiles, okay?? I like you a lot.” 

Stiles told himself it was time to wake up now. He had enough of this stupid dream already, and he just wanted to get back into his shitty real life, where he was with Derek and Jackson hated him. Well, Derek seemed to hate him most of the time too, but at least he knew that was real. 

And then Jackson kissed him, and that didn’t feel like it was a dream. It felt more real than whenever Derek kissed him. It felt like being kissed by someone who really likes you. 

He really wanted Derek to kiss him like that, to kiss him like he desperately needs that kiss, like he needs Stiles. Because it has been a very long time since Stiles felt like someone needed him. Scott was in a relationship with Isaac and Lydia always told him that he’s too good for Derek. Besides them, Stiles has no one. Except his dad and the people at the station, but the last thing he talks about there is his love life. Or sex life seems more accurate. 

But then everything went silent because Stiles didn’t know what to say, and it looked like Jackson was embarrassed. Not that he would know, he never saw Jackson be embarrassed by anything. He always thought Jackson was too cool for that. 

“Are you drunk, Jackson? Cause I mean, it’s either that or I’m dreaming, and it doesn’t feel like I’m dreaming or maybe I got kidnapped by aliens and this is just a mind trick, because I don’t know much else that would make sense.”   
“Stiles, I don’t think aliens kidnapping you makes any sense, you know?” Jackson laughed. 

“Like you kissing me makes more sense than aliens! I’m pretty sure that the real Jackson would never kiss someone like me, because he’s a gorgeous dick and I’m Stiles, so yes aliens, I’m onto your mind games!” 

And Jackson couldn’t stop laughing, and Stiles never heard Jackson laugh like that, so his alien theory just made more sense by the second. 

“You’re an idiot, and I think you fail to see just how good looking you are,” Jackson whispered the last part, “and I’m not a dick.” 

“Seriously, who are you and what did you do to Jackson? That guy hated me from day one and even though I had a crush on him back then doesn’t mean this mind game will work on me now, okay!” Yup, Stiles was just talking bullshit, but he didn’t know how else to react. He dreamed of this moment in fifth grade but he grew up since then. He stopped dreaming. 

“Wait — you had a crush on me? I thought you were always in love with stupid Derek.” 

“Jackson, you’re back!” Stiles screamed a bit too loud, and then Jackson laughed again and he just couldn’t help but laugh back. He was actually having a good time. With Jackson. 

“And I mean it was in fifth grade, okay, don’t hold it against me. It’s not like I didn’t know you were too good for me, not like Derek isn’t, because I’m just Stiles and you both look like you came from a GQ magazine or something.” 

“You are gorgeous, and it’s a shame you can’t see that,” Jackson moved his hand on Stiles’ knee, “and you’re the one who’s too good for Derek.” 

Now that is a line Stiles heard one too many times already. He knew he wasn’t too good for anyone, and Derek was the only person he had and he loved him, so he was just sick of people trying to bring him down constantly. Derek wasn’t so bad deep down, Stiles was still certain of that. He just made bad decisions and his temper was low, but he still loved him. 

“I — um — have to go, Derek will be wondering where I am if I don’t.” 

And he just stood up and left. He thought that lately all he ever does is leave. 

“Don’t leave, please,” Jackson yelled after him, and even though Stiles heard it, he still walked away. 

He wished Derek would have asked him to stay. But a part of him knew that he would come back tomorrow. Stiles needed someone who would ask him to stay, even if that person was not Derek. 

Because Derek may be good looking — and he may love him to death — but he is not a piece of art. He just never expected that he would find what he needs in Jackson.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles doesn't always make good decisions, but he never imagined himself doing something this stupid. 
> 
> But then again, he never imagined his life would turn into such a mess either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm sorry that this fic is basically one big angst, I mean it is to me at least and sometimes it just pains me to write it, and I can't say things will get better THAT soon but they will. 
> 
> Second, you will see plenty of people doing plenty of mistakes around here because that's what people sometimes do, we're not perfect. Derek makes mistakes, Stiles makes mistakes, Jackson will make mistakes, and other characters who will appear later on will make mistakes. 
> 
> And third, I have no idea how long this will turn out to be, so tell me if you'd like for it to be shorter, or if you'd like me to go heavy in and incorporate some new plotlines, etc.

Stiles barely slept that night. When he arrived back home Derek was already asleep. Somehow Stiles expected him to be awake, to wait for him and ask him where he’s been. It was a stupid thing to expect, he knew that, but he just couldn’t help himself but to still expect things from him. Things that he shouldn’t expect because they always led to more disappointments at the end. 

When he woke up the next day, Derek wasn’t in the bed with him. Not that it was unusual, he would almost always wake up after him. But again, he expected Derek to wake him up with a kiss and maybe even a whispered ‘good morning, love’ but again, he expected things he knew weren’t going to happen. 

“Do you want breakfast?” He heard Derek ask as soon as he stepped into the kitchen, and what he saw almost gave him a mini heart attack. There were pancakes on the table, with maple syrup, bananas, freshly made coffee, croissants, toast and peanut butter. Derek made them breakfast. 

Derek never made breakfast for Stiles anymore. He would usually finish his own meal way before Stiles even woke up, and then he’d just end up reading the newspaper until leaving for work, and Stiles would just eat breakfast alone. 

But Derek made them both breakfast, and Stiles felt some hope that maybe there still was some love left there. 

“Would love some, I’m starving,” he exclaimed and almost ran to the table before Derek could change his mind, “it smells amazing, Derek!” 

“You came home late last night, where were you?” 

And Stiles didn’t expect that, not when he felt like maybe they could just go back to how things were a long time ago, when they showed nothing but love to each other. He knew that he could never lie to him, because he always knew when he lied, he could tell instantly. 

“At Jackson’s.” It was all that he said, and even though he wanted to tell him that nothing happened, that he doesn’t know why he even ended up there when he only went out for a walk, nothing else came out of his mouth. 

“Oh.” And Derek was never generous with words, even though Stiles expected a little more this time, he would even accept an argument over just that one word, no not even a word, just a sound. It all fell back into place, Derek simply didn’t care what he did, he wouldn’t care even if he told him that he and Jackson had crazy, awesome, wild sex last night. It just wouldn’t matter. 

“That’s all you’re going to say? Not even an — um — I hate you, or maybe ask me what the hell, Stiles, what were you doing at Jackson’s? Do you simply not care that much?” Stiles just couldn’t keep it in anymore, he just wanted to let it all out, and even though he didn’t mean to shout at him, it just came out that way. Instantly he wanted to say he was sorry for shouting at him, he wanted to apologise even though the only thing he wanted was for Derek to love him, and he knew very well that he had nothing to be sorry for. 

“I don’t hate you.” 

That’s what Stiles hated the most. Instead of hearing ‘I love you’ he got ‘I don’t hate you’ instead. And at times it seemed like perhaps it would be a lot easier if Derek would just say that he hates him, everything would be better than this. At least he would know where they stand. 

“Aren’t you jealous that I was at Jackson’s? Not even one bit? What if I tell you that — um — that Jackson told me that he likes me? What if I told you that he kissed me?” 

“I wouldn’t believe you.” At that point Derek walked out of the dining room, and a minute after Stiles could hear the engine of the Camaro, and he knew that Derek drove away. 

Stiles started crying, uncontrollably crying while stuffing himself with the last pancake. The pancake just made it worse, because Derek made those pancakes for him, he laid everything out neatly on the dining table, and Stiles hoped for a romantic breakfast, for a kiss from his boyfriend, and for that little bit of hope he still had left for them to actually make sense. 

But Derek wouldn’t have believed him that Jackson kissed him. Because Derek thought that no one hot like Jackson could ever like Stiles, because Stiles wasn’t good looking, and he should be happy that he had Derek because otherwise he would be alone. That’s how it felt like, but he didn’t feel happy, he felt miserable. 

So he picked up his phone and called the only person he could think of to make him feel important. 

“Um, hi. Are you — um — like free right now? Can I stop by — um — if you want me to, if that’s okay with you?” Great Stiles, good way to start a conversation, just great. 

“I would love that, Stiles, I’ll make us both some coffee while you get here, I’m so glad you called.” If Stiles was being honest, he could hear in Jackson’s voice that he actually was glad that he called. He totally liked Stiles! And Stiles actually liked that. He wasn’t sure if he could say that he liked Jackson but he liked being wanted. 

He hated himself for using Jackson as an escape, but he needed it so badly. 

When he arrived at Jackson’s all he wanted was to feel wanted. He just wasn’t so sure if perhaps after last time, after running away like that back to Derek, Jackson would even allow himself to show Stiles that he wants him. He did always think of Jackson as someone who hated rejection, someone who would rather appear to be the biggest douchebag in the planet rather than being hurt by someone. Because to him Jackson was always the one who would hurt someone, not the other way around. 

“What happened, you seemed… you seemed upset over the phone?” 

Stiles didn’t know what to say without starting crying. He didn’t want to cry in front of Jackson, he just wanted him to make him feel wanted without talking so much. Without thinking about Derek. 

Because thinking about Derek hurt, and no one could hurt him as Derek could. 

“I’m fine now, can we talk about something else? I don’t know, we can talk about bunnies and how fucking weird their ears are? I mean who has ears that big, like why would you need such big ears, am I right?” Stiles was officially anxious, and when he was feeling anxious the only thing he knew could help was distracting himself from whatever made him anxious. 

Derek made him anxious, thinking about the breakfast that morning made him anxious, but bunnies, well bunnies made everything seem like a sunny meadow where no problems exist, right? 

“You’re the fucking weirdest person I ever met, Stilinski.” Jackson laughed, and somehow hearing him laugh made Stiles laugh too. Perhaps it was because it just felt so comfortable, or perhaps it was because somehow hearing Jackson laugh was the weirdest thing he ever imagined. 

“Well you love it, Whittemore!” 

But he couldn’t help himself but to remember how many times he said that same line to Derek. And how many times Derek told him that he was the weirdest person he ever met. He could even remember just how comfortable it felt when they laughed together, and how amazing it felt to feel Derek’s hand caressing him and telling him that he loves him. Because even though it seemed like those days happened such a long time ago, he could still remember every single detail of them. Those were the days when he was the happiest he has ever been. 

Nothing in the world could make him feel that happy again, but somehow (and he had to admit that it was the weirdest thing ever) being here with Jackson made him feel just a tiny bit happy again. Just for that moment, he knew that it would end as soon as he would have to leave to go back to his house. To their house, to the house he shared with someone he loved the most but didn’t love him back. To the house he shared with Derek. 

“No Stiles, I just love you.” Jackson turned into the brightest shade of red. And Stiles never even saw him blush in the entire time he knew him. Which was a very long time. 

But Stiles loved Derek. He stupidly loved him. 

But Stiles loved hearing it. Even though he heard it from Jackson. So he kissed him. Because he couldn’t say ‘I love you too’ but kissing was something he could do. All he had to do was imagine he was kissing Derek, all he had to do was imagine that Derek told him that he loves him. 

And Stiles felt like the worst human in the world but at that moment he didn’t care.


End file.
